Updated: Sep 14, 2018
If reading is more your jam I have a handy dandy written version below the video just for you.
I had a friend recently point out that we all get a bit too caught up in what we want and that we should focus more on gratitude… and I totally agree… to a point. I don’t think gratitude and wanting more are mutually exclusive. I can appreciate that I have a nice safe place to live and also wish I lived somewhere that wasn’t surrounded by other apartments on a loud street. Gratitude should not be something that keeps up complacent, stuck, or feeling guilty for wanting more than we already have. Gratitude should be something we cultivate so we can appreciate what is going right in our lives and then empowers us to grow and expand and strive for our most authentic life.
I think a lot of people only feel grateful for what they have when comparing themselves to those with less than them... and that’s fine, but if you’re always comparing your blessings to what others have then you’ll also be comparing yourself to those with way more than you… and that’s when we get all those ugly feelings of lack, judgement, unworthiness, and that we don’t have enough. True gratitude is something you feel without having to compare yourself to anyone else.
When I feel truly grateful I feel way more motivated, capable, and worthy of my goals because I’m out of victim mode and feeling great, safe, and confident in who I am. My goals feel awesome and achievable and I take better action. And when I’m really tapped into true gratitude I want things that are actually in alignment with who I am. Instead of trying to keep up with the Jones’, I’m pursuing wants that lead me to my most authentic self… a bigger grocery budget to spend at the farmers market instead of the grocery store, more free time to spend with my family and friends, the means for more intentional self care, time to volunteer and money for charities I believe in, a higher education, and yes, a bigger and better house that feels more like home and better supports my creative side, love of cooking, entertaining, and raising my family. Just like an artist might need to visit museums, travel the world, and buy the best supplies to fully tap into her most creative self and make a masterpiece, we could all use certain well thought-out ’luxuries’ that help us tap into our best selves.
And then, with our best selves front and center, we can turn around and help others achieve the same. Spread the love, be generous, be kind, be helpful. When you’re in alignment with your best self its way easier to share it. When you’re in survival mode most of your focus is on your struggle and it’s harder to share what light you do have.
One of my favorite exercises to cultivate more gratitude is from Stacy at the Lifecoach school… I’ll link the podcast episode about it at the end of this. It’s deceptively simple, but sooooo amazing if you really embrace it. Basically you make a long list of what you want, but you only include things you already have. Think way back to when you were a little kid, a teenager, in your 20’s, etc. When your list is done you’ll have an amazing piece of evidence that lists all the amazing things you’ve achieved and have that really means something to you. I was raised by super strict parents, desperately wanted a boyfriend in high school, wanted to work for myself, and suffered a couple mysterious miscarriages. To look back and realize how grateful I am to have no curfew, an amazing husband, my own business, and a growing family is an amazing feeling that makes me feel like I am totally abundant and that I can make anything happen. Cheesy, I know, but those feelings are great catalysts for creating change and achieving goals. Give it a try and let me know how it made you feel… I’d love to hear all about it!
PODCAST EPISODE LINK: https://thelifecoachschool.com/24/